New girl

Estos son trocitos de conversaciones del capítulo 4x08 de New girl, que lo acabo de ver (con una semana de retraso). El capítulo va de que Jess y Coach tienen unas jornadas de maestros y están un día fuera, así que Nick, Schmidt y Wilson aprovechan para hacer una 'noche de chicos' en el piso. No he traducido los diálogos porque me daba pereza.

Se encuentran Ryan y Jess en el pasillo del colegio:
"Ryan: Hey. How was your weekend?
Jess: That's personal."
Jess tira el cuaderno que lleva en la mano y se va corriendo.

En la cocina:
"Schmidt: Hey, you guys want sangria?
Nick: It's guys' night! Only beer!
Wilson: Yea, what is this, Spain?"

Mirando tías haciendo estiramientos en el edificio de enfrente:
"Nick: I don't want to make this sound too creepy, but I want to own those girls. I wouldn't touch them. They'd want for nothing. But I would know they were there. Stretching. For me.
Wilson: I want to French braid that girl hair. I want to French braid that hair so good."

En la habitación de Schmidt:
"Schmidt: Guess you think I'm pretty dim, huh? A man who can't do laundry.
Wilson: You weren't born this way, were you?
Schmidt: Born not knowing how to do laundry? Like everyone else? Yes, Winston, I was. It wasn't till after birth that the trouble really began."

Aún en la habitación de Schmidt:
"Wilson: I've never told anyone this, but I don't know how to read a ruler."

Haciendo un brindis porque Nick ha enseñado a Schmidt a hacer la colada y a Wilson a leer una regla:
"Wilson: To Nick. What can't you do?
Nick: A lot, you know, I can't say "Febuary".
Schmidt: Hahahaha. No one can!
Wilson: Frebuar... Febuar-ar...
Schmidt: Feb... Whatever."

Hablando de amor mientras escuchan una canción bajona:
"Nick: Well, if I were so cute, then how come I can't find anyone to love?
Schmidt: 'Cause you're aiming too low.
Wilson: Nick, my man, you don't find diamonds underground.
Nick: That's exactly where you find diamonds, Winston."

Jess y Coach vuelven al piso:
"Jess: Oh, it smells terrible in here!
Coach: How many beer did you guys drink?
Schmidt, Nick y Wilson: So much. Beer, beer! Lots of beer. That's how beer smells. So many bears.
Coach [Coge una copa de cristal y la huele]: Smells like sangria.
Schmidt: That must be the perfum from all the ladies we hooked up with. Yeah. They were all Spaniards.
Wilson: Mine was named Señorita Lucinda Madrid."